An engaged listener is someone who is able to convey to a speaker
that they are focused on what the speaker is saying and thereby
make them feel that they are being listened to.
To do this, you need to be aware of
- your body language as well as
- your verbal responses.
Position your body/head so that you can look directly at the speaker. Use appropriate eye contact.
This encourages the speaker by demonstrating that you are paying attention to what they have to say.
Uses pauses in your response. For example, wait a few seconds before replying to what the other person says.
Or, pause between points that you are trying to make.
Maintain a natural position when you are doing this.
Stay relax and calm.
This demonstrates reflection by you and
it can also give the speaker time to reflect on what you are saying.
Use verbal cues such as "yes", "sure", "u-huh" and non-verbal cues such as head nodding.
This left the speaker know you are listening.
Helps to ensure understanding and encourages the speaker to continue.
Check your motives. Think: Am I really interested?
How can I connect with this person?
Check your own judgments, values and thoughts.
Our attitudes (which are a combination of our judgements, values and thoughts)
can be reflected through our verbal and non-verbal actions.